homework#25

To Yazmin:

Yazy-yaz

i like how you described your character as someone everybody wants, and yet didnt make her a completely idiot or bitch, like most people do do when they think of "cool" people. Its refreshing.
I also like the last line you used "she's everything i want to be and yet nothing i can be", kind of poetic, nice way to end it.


To Chloe:

Chloe

i enjoy you're story alot, its a true SOF definition of cool, the whole elevator thing. I know that's happen to me a number of times so i can really connect to it.
I also like how it never got boring even tho it was just about one scene.


To Jin:

I like how your story still says alot even though its kind of short. I really liked the part where the character speaks to himself in the mirror, almost like to reassure himself that he is cool, i thought that was cool.
and the gold part kind of reminds me of someone whose showing off their high status in society, like hes showing off how cool he is.


To Connor:

I really liked your story,
I like how you used more dialogue than description like how most others do. I like how you use alot of slang in your post, not all the other blogs had that much slang in it, and it made your story enjoyable.


To Samantha Cotto:

Your story reminded me alot of the scene from "feed" where all the girls went to the bathroom to change their hairstyle because there was a new "it" style.
I like how you start off embarrassing the character instead of telling everyone how cool he is.
Also his name, you know how the cool people usually make up weird words/names, and just say them all the time, i guess that connects with coolness and at the same time is a name where people can make fun of him, i like that, and im mad you actually used it lol.




Some patterns i've notice while reading everyone's story, were that usually the people we think are "cool" are jerks, like in Connors story, the main character was a complete ass, and just started things no matter what, for pure entertainment. Also the value of things, like new clothes, shoes, style comes up alot, which is a given since everybody's opinion on style is different, it can be more dark like chloes or hip like in Samantha's.
Also beauty has a part of it too, like in Yazmin's the story the character was all lovely, everybody desired her, wanted to be like her. Also like in jin's story, the character makes himself look good so that people would like him. In Chloes the characters more non-caring, yet that emotionless facade is appealing to people, not as much as beauty, but makes a person look cool.

Cool story

"Nah it doesn't hurt, I'm use to it by now ya know?" Sasha was showing off yet another new piercing, this time it was on her nose.
She continues showing everybody her piercing, closing in especially to the boys.
Sasha pulls out her cell showing a picture of her nose after the piercing, not evening caring about getting caught by the teacher.
The teacher walked down to her table putting his hand out.
"nah im sorry i'll pay attention now" She said putting her phone in her pocket
"uh no give it"
"what the hell i wont take it out again i swear to god" Sasha's voice becoming a bit too loud
"Dont make me call" the teacher threaten
"What the fuck, there's so many other people texting, chatting why dont you take theirs?!" She makes a big deal about it, but in the end hands it over.
"this is fucking bullshit"
"You can leave then" The teacher pointed to the door

She stayed quiet, just sulking and mumbling all bunch of curse under her breathe. People giggle/laugh and Sasha's face turns as red as a freshly made piercing.

Art Project - poem

A dark little corner at the end of the room,

A small bright screen burning into my eyes,

into my thoughtless goo of a brain,

Laughters and voices echo in the background

but i pay no mind to them

what matters now, are the sounds of the keys crackling away

as i try to level Angela up to become a sorceress,

chat with my friends,

and watch whatever i want.

"honey come with me to the store"

no

"turn off that computer!"

just a few more minutes

hours later

"you need to get off that computer now!"

silence

3:30 am

bed time

wake up and do it again.

My art is probably a mirror, because it just reflects what other people already know, like how people stay up all night on the computer, or on their x-box playing games with other people online, and how its unhealthy for us since we get little sleep, which can lead to weight gain, acne, loss/increase in appetite, and depression.

When i look at my art i don't really feel anything, because i know things like this happen its nothing new, and i know its not good, but sometimes we just cant help but stay up late on our devices, like if its for school work. So to me my art isn't really anything outstanding, the only thing i think of thats even a little interesting is that, in the picture i drew the person's soul is being sucked into the computer and the persons eyes are reddish from lack of sleep giving a daze-ish look in her eyes, adding onto the whole zombie look.

paper outline

introduction:

what we use technology for, how we spend so much on it, and spend so much time on it.

thesis: 

Technology brainwashes us into brainless zombie who become so dependent on it.

paragraph 1:

the interviews i did with friends, family, and strangers, how i felt after doing my video project, and after watching other peoples videos, self-experment.

Paragraph 2:

how much money people spent on all the technology in their houses, TV's, computers, PS2, X-box, gameboys, cells/phones. Get informations from a article on how much people spent on them, like a graph, percentages.

Paragraph 3:

how being on technology is bad for our health, obesity, lack of sleep. How it affects our self esteem.

Connections:

connections between real life and the book Feed, and Wall-E (?).

Opposing viewpoints:

the article that says that using the computer at school actually helps make kids smarter

Significance:

how technology affects us, and how it has a negative affect on us.

Conclusion:

summarize everything.